judy blume's autobiography

My name is Mark Baumer. I think I understand the internet. My dad said I used to feed ducks. I don't remember. Ducks do not usually use the internet. I've never told my dad he is a liar. Ducks have limited capabilities. Most fathers lie to their sons. I think my father wanted me to be a professional baseball player. In seventh grade I thought I was going to marry Mandy Moore. The last time I remember my father lying to me I was in fifth grade. He said, "We'll go see Jurassic Park this weekend." I have not made the major leagues yet. We didn't go see Jurassic Park. In eighth grade I thought I was going to marry Judy Blume. I went to school with a girl named Judy Blume. This may not be true. My dad probably told me I went to school with Judy Blume. She was very developed. She had sex with my cousin and then my friend Nemoy. I thought I was next in line. Nemoy was not actually my friend's name. I called Judy Blume every night and rode my bike to her house and waited for the sex, but it never happened. When the phone bill came my mother got mad because the phone company said calling Judy Blume was long distance even though we lived in the same town. I think our phone bill was $4000 which was a lot of 1996. $4000 does not seem like a realistic number.