food

If you only go to one dentist this year, make it Dr. Peyman Beigi of Chestnut Hill Dental Associates. I did, and I can honestly say that I have never felt my mouth more safe in the hands of any other man. I walked into his office on Monday the 28^th of January, 2008 with a prayer, $184 and 32 teeth in need of a little tender loving care. I walked out without those dollars, but with a full set of x-rays, a mouthful of sparkling clean teeth and maybe even a little love connection with his charming assistant who cleaned them. As I left the office, located in suite 300 of the office building at 2001 Beacon Street, I could not help but turn around, salute and whisper “god bless America”.

Dr. Beigi is not an American. He is something else. I am not really sure what, but he speaks French and Persian, so he might be French and Persian. But most importantly he speaks English, the language that he used to tell me that my teeth were in very good condition and urge me to use fluoride toothpaste and rinse (NOTE: Dr. Beigi’s views on fluoride toothpaste and fluoride rinse are not necessarily the views of EveryDayYeah or the author). English is probably the language he uses to teach Karate in his spare time, although he no doubt accepts French and Persian students as long as they are not terrorists.

sensei Beigi next to the late shihan Enoeda, circa 1982

Does your dentist teach Karate? Is your dentist fluent in 3 languages? Do your semiannual checkups come with happy endings? These are important questions that you must ask yourself next time you get that little reminder in the mail that it is time to come in to get weird tools shoved into your mouth. As for me, I already know the answers to those questions, and I know which Dentist I will choose 6 months from now. Hopefully, you will make the right choice as well.

dentistrical review by 

Fancy Boy

January 30^th was a long time coming. When my roommate came home last fall to tell me that the new construction down the street was going to be a Chipotle restaurant, I thought he was trying to play World Knowledge Quest.

I simply could not believe that I would be that lucky. I have been eating at Chipotle habitually for the last 6-7 years of my life, and never have I lived this close to one of their establishments. But now I live 50 yards away from the most delicious Burritos ever created by the human race, and I intend to take full advantage of the situation.

Today, I was able to take advantage for the first time, and then the 2^nd and the 3^rd times. At the end of the day, I had stood in line for over an hour total in order to receive three free burritos. I would do it again. In fact I will do it again, as I will probably be eating there for dinner tomorrow night, and every other night until the plumbing at 12A Sutherland Road stands up and says “I’ve had enough” (for the record, this has already happened tonight and luckily I was not the culprit so I did not get stuck with the job of mopping up digested burrito off of the bathroom floor).

If you eat only one burrito this year*, make sure you get that burrito from Chipotle. In fact, if you eat only one burrito in your life, it should be a Chipotle burrito, and afterwards you should probably kill yourself because you will never experience a more delicious taste in your entire life. And while you’re killing yourself, the best way would probably be to order 5 more burritos of each variety, Vegetarian, Chicken, Barbacoa, Steak and Carnitas, and eat them in succession until your stomach explodes. That is certainly how I would like to go. But not yet; no, not yet. I have a lot of burritos left to eat in this life.

*If you go to one free burrito day this year make sure it is Chipotle. Q'doba had a free burrito day last year and participants said they could barely suffer through two burritos and would never return to eat at the establishment again.

review by Fancy Boy

I’m quite certain that at this time of year it’s difficult for the discerning eater/socializer to find the ideal Thanksgiving dinner. Reviewers have just begun posting their thoughts on particular Thanksgivings, each advocating a different one to the reader. Let me go on record right now as saying that the Thanksgiving dinner I attended a week ago was without question the best Thanksgiving ever. If you only attend one Thanksgiving this year, you simply must make it the Thanksgiving dinner my family held last week.

Allow me to be frank for a moment: there is a lot of luck when it comes to pulling off the perfect holiday gathering. We all remember Christmas Eve 1998 when a fight between my mother and grandmother conspired to ruin the holiday season. Only by chance did my aunt give to my father as a gift a trivia book which engrossed the family for the entire night and caused our memories of in-law antagonism to fade. How can we forget my uncle’s ham-fisted attempts at humor nearly spoiling the Fourth of July 2001, only to be negated by the timely arrival of fireworks which awed all members of my clan, young and old? For all the platitudes that I’m about to bestow on Thanksgiving 2007, luck played as big a role as the individual members present.

Thanksgiving Reviews By Zach Forsberg-Lary Thanksgiving # 1 “Friend’s Thanksgiving” Host: Joseph Rochira Location: Sawyer Ave. Warwick RI, 02818 Date: Sunday November 18, 2007 Time: 4:00 PM Attendees: 25+ Food Quantity: 10/10 Food Quality: 8/10 Food Variety: 7/10 X-Factor: 4/10 Overall Score: 6/10 High Point: Reminiscing with Pat Splaine about the dumb shit we used to do when we were kids. Low Point: Having to sneak out the back-door for a cigarette. Comments: Four turkeys: two oven-cooked, one deep-fried, and one smoked! Joe is a great host. His recently restored 1968? Camaro is looking pretty sharp. Heidi Warner called me a bad boyfriend because I left Erika to fend for herself with people she didn’t know. Miss Sandra D was in the house, which made me happy. Teddy Splaine asked gender-biased trivia questions after the meal. Thanksgiving # 2 “The Larys” Host: Richard and Marian Lary Location: 35 Sandalwood Ave. Warwick RI, 02886 Date: Thursday November 22, 2007 Time: 12:00 PM Attendees: 6 Food Quantity: 5/10 Food Quality: 8/10 Food Variety: 4/10 X-Factor: 7/10 Overall Score: 7/10 High Point: My Grandfather offered to teach me how to shoot guns next summer. I said I was interested. Low Point: Carrying tons of boxes from their basement to their attic before the meal. Comments: Good food, good company. There was kind of a lonely vibe in the house. Most of our family is in different states now, so it was kind of a weak showing. Had to rush out after dinner to make Thanksgiving # 3. Thanksgiving # 3 “The Townsends” Host: John and “Tyke” Townsend Location: 414 Middle Bridge Rd. Narragansett RI, 02879 Date: Thursday November 22, 2007 Time: 2:00 PM Attendees: 14 Food Quantity: 7/10 Food Quality: 8/10 Food Variety: 5/10 X-Factor: 8/10 Overall Score: 8/10 High Point: 5 crazy kids of varying ages and sizes. Low Point: Erika’s dad beat me at skipping rocks when we went for a walk after the meal. Comments: Welcoming inviting people. One of my girlfriend’s little cousins had a crush on me, which was cute. The kids were high-energy, which is always fun. The food was good and the conversation was entertaining. Thanksgiving # 4 “Black Thanksgiving” Host: Tammy and Troy Location: 154 Spring St. Windsor Locks CT, 06096 Date: Saturday November 24, 2007 Time: 12:00 PM Attendees: 20+ Food Quantity: 9/10 Food Quality: 9/10 Food Variety: 9/10 X-Factor: 10/10 Overall Score: 9/10 High Point: Jake and Jared / seeing a whole slew of family I rarely see. Low Point: Leaving early. Comments: I say “Black Thanksgiving” not because that’s really significant, but I needed a way to distinguish it from the others, and it sounded catchy. It also happened to be with my Black side of the family. 4 of my 5 siblings from my mom’s husband’s side of the family were there. Everyone is nice, generous, inviting, funny, and warm. I feel at home with this side of the family, and always have something to talk about (especially since 80 % of them are teachers). Thanksgiving # 5 “Thanksvegan” Host: Jess and Patti Location: Orrin St. Cambridge MA, 02138 Date: Wednesday November 28, 2007 Time: 6:30 PM Attendees: 10+ Food Quantity: 7/10 Food Quality: 9/10 Food Variety: 8/10 X-Factor: 6/10 Overall Score: 7/10 High Point: Keeping the streak of never arriving totally sober at Jess Kelly’s house. Low Point: The bus ride home. Comments: Good people, good food. Jess Kelly always knows where it’s at. For all you losers who react negatively to the idea of vegetarian and vegan food: you are losers. I’ll say it once, and I’ll say it again: good food is good food, regardless of what’s in it. If you eat a meal and you’re like, “Damn this is the fucking bomb,” and you find out you were eating kitten brains… who the fuck cares, it tasted good. So who cares if it’s healthy non-animal food products instead of meat and dairy? If it tastes good, fucking eat it.

“Hello, Mr. Turkey wing,” I said. The turkey was silent. I kissed it. It was cold, frozen, thawing. “Come sit next to me at the fire,” I said. I carried over the turkey and sat it on my lap. A few minutes later I heard my mother’s voice. “Where is the turkey?” she said. By then the crotch of my pants was wet from the defrosting turkey. My mother said it would be my job to prepare the cranberry sauce. Our family has always bought the canned kind so I figured my job would be easy, but when I went to bed the night before I was restless. I won’t lie; I was nervous. I snuck downstairs and rumbled through the pantry for the cranberry can. When I found it I brought it to bed and slept peacefully. In the morning I awoke refreshed, but found calamity in the kitchen. Someone had lost the can opener. “My cranberry sauce will be ruined,” I said. “There’s a hacksaw on the workbench,” said my father. There were supposed to be steamed carrots, but someone forgot to boil the water and we just ended up with soggy orange sticks. We gave them to my dog, but he got sick and stopped eating before he even finished his second bowl. There was supposed to be pie too, but it disappeared like the can opener. We suspected my uncle until we noticed my dog slinking away with a grin on his face. It was almost like he couldn’t help laughing at our disappointment. He must have been faking it when he said he was full off of carrots. My father was in charge of the potatoes. He often liked to quote himself and refer to his potatoes as the best in town. They were usually lumpy and one year he had gotten them to taste like spoiled melon. There was hope this year though, at least until he accidentally dropped the whole container of cream into the pot. “This fucking stove,” he said and kicked the stove. It isn’t entirely clear why my father saw the stove at fault in this scenario. A bunch of my little nephews thought it would be a good idea to take the stuffing out of the turkey and replace it with something. There was a vote. It came down between Legos and food waste from the compost. The compost surprisingly won the vote and the little cousins gathered up lettuce stems and egg shells. They somehow got in the kitchen and made the switch without anyone knowing. I saw them do it. I was older, but I saw no reason to spoil their joke. There was a football game on tv. Someone scored a touchdown. This person was excited which made me excited. As I result I found myself doing a celebratory dance on the dining room table as the family said grace. review by Mark Baumer