Dear Bernie #8 (April 14th 2009)

Dear Bernie,
I am making a movie trailer. The movie is about a guy who rides his bike a lot. He has a neighbor who sings through the walls. I think he eats at Subway every day. A man wearing aviators looks at him on the bus. Maybe not. I don't know. The movie hasn't been made yet. I prefer to make movie trailers first. Then if people like the trailer a movie can be made. I don't think I will make this movie. I will let one of the big names direct it. Maybe the guy who directed Finding Nemo can make it. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Finding Nemo was about fish. Do you know what a fish is? I am pretty sure who will die not knowing what fish are.
God, I love you. I'm very jealous you don't grasp the concept of fish. I think I would pay a man to hit me in the head with an aluminum bat if he could guarantee my brain wouldn't be harmed too much and that I wouldn't remember what ‘fish' are. I don't know why this idea appeals to me so much. I think I just like the idea of being ignorant and then one day I would be walking by a pond and a fish would jump on shore and I'd be like, "What the fuck?" Then I'd pick up the fish and I would know and it'd be a great moment of my life.
Anyway, the trailer is 90 percent done. Here is the storyboard for it. All I have left to do is find locations and film all the scenes and then edit it together. My goal is for these tasks to take less time than it took me to draw the storyboard. I drew the storyboard at work. It took me eight minutes. -Mark