dead prez's autobiography

My name is Mark Baumer. When I was twenty I thought of birds for two weeks straight and then coach said, "You're pinch-hitting for John," and I said, "I know. The birds told me." Coach pretended he didn't hear me and marked his scored card. I saw a bird on the backstop and it winked at me and said, "First pitch fastball." The game was tied. The left-hander on the mound didn't believe in the evolution of birds. The umpire pointed at me and said it was my turn. I walked up to the plate and told the umpire, "My name is Mark Baumer." He nodded. I fouled the first pitch and the bird said, "Idiot." I shrugged my shoulders and hit a home run on the next pitch. When I got back to the dugout I said, "Coach, I hit that one for the birds." That night I saw Dead Prez. They are a semi-mainstream militant rap group. My friend wanted to buy a shirt, but felt intimidated by the guy behind the merch table. I stared at the merch guy for a long time. When he finally looked at me I said, "I hit a home run today.