Review: Space Chimps

Timeframe: the 1990’s
A movie theater has a display of floating monkeys.  The monkeys are disconnected
from the world. They think they are in
space. They don’t believe in earth. The world has ended.  The cardboard they
are made of is starting to dissipate.  They ask each other, "Do you
smell rotting vegetables?"  They agree there is a festering odor.
 They are embarrassed.  They don't want to admit it is them. Their spaceship is made from an old Buick
LeSable.

Time frame: Fifty-billion years ago:
One monkey tried to lease a Buick LeSable.  The car salesman said,
"You have no money monkey."  The monkey rolled its eyes at the
car salesman.  The car salesman did not want to deal this monkey.
 His collar was irritating his neck.  He had been sweating earlier.
 Now it was dry, but clammy.  The car salesman tried to push the
monkey out the door.  The monkey just looked at the man.  The car
salesman put both hands in his pockets, leaned back on his heels, and said,
"So you want to play this game?"  The monkey didn't answer.
 It didn't understand why it was there.  The monkey wasn't actually
trying to lease a Buick LeSable.  It had wandered into the car lot and
rubbed the teal Buick.

Timeframe: Ten years into the future.
Two monkeys tried to eat rocks.  They could not swallow them.  The
rocks chipped their teeth.  They didn't like the sound of the rocks on
their molars.  They took the rocks out of their mouths.  There was a
highway on the other side of a wall.  They looked at each other and then
at the rocks in their hands.  One of the two monkeys thought, "This
rock is why my grandmother bought a Buick LeSable."  This monkey did
not understand its thought.  The other monkey had a similar thought,
"This rock drives like a Buick LeSable."  Like the first monkey
it did not understand what it was supposed to mean.  It did have questions
like, "If this was supposed to be a kids movie or an action movie (It
wasn't sure if he was in Space Chimps,
Planet of the Apes, or Eddie) why
are they advertising a car predominantly owned by the elderly?"

Timeframe: Present
Three monkeys wore vee-neck t-shirts.  One of them smoked a cigarette.
 There is no warning for monkeys.  It only says, "May cause
damage to pregnant women."  A monkey is not a pregnant woman.  That
is why this monkey smokes.  The other two monkeys in vee-neck shirts are
eating ice cream cones.  The three of them are trying to go to a nightclub
called robot.  They do not know where it is.  They do not know that
vee-neck shirts are not allowed.  They ask a raincoat salesman if he knows
where the club robot is.  He does not.  He asks them if they want to
buy a raincoat.  They do not.  It is not raining.  As they are
walking away a blimp flies overhead.  It is not dumping milk tonight. That is why no one is buying raincoats.
 The side of it says, "I am a Buick LeSable."