Review: Pineapple Express

Three guys sat around a breakfast table and they said very
nice things about each other and it was almost like they had felt a strong love
for one another for a long time even though they didn’t really know each other
very well. One of them was named Dale
and in middle school he was overweight and only wore Nirvana shirts because
Kurt Cobain killed himself when he was in fourth grade and he had just bought Teen Spirit and it was the first album
he had ever owned and it almost made him not want to like another band ever
again, but that didn't last because he got into Bush in seventh grade, which
was kind of a mistake, but it didn't matter because he still liked Nirvana the
best and had thirteen Nirvana shirts that he only wore from fifth grade all the
way to freshmen year of high school when his aunt accidentally bought him that
Offspring shirt and though he didn't really like the band a whole lot the shirt
wasn't faded and he felt pretty cool when he wore it.  And then some kids
in biology threw a glass beaker at him and yelled anarchy and he seemed kind of
intrigued because that was what he was feeling at the moment and two weeks later
he was no longer wearing the Nirvana shirts and was really into Bad Religion
and Nofx even though when he was alone he still listened to Nirvana but he
didn't admit it because his friends were baby punks, well that's not what he
called them, but in general terms they were still children and lived with their
parents and found ideas like anarchy and rebellion interesting and they found
the DIY lifestlye freeing because their whole lives they'd had everything done
for them.  Anyway, the little former Nirvana boy didn't really pick up on
these things, but maybe some professor in college would discuss counter
cultures and he'd remember he was a young punk who used his parent's car on
weekends.  And maybe he wouldn't remember it because by junior year he was
smoking weed and asking his parents for money to go to the movies every weekend
even though he was really going to go to whoever’s parents weren't home.  And
this Nirvana boy's father would be like, "Didn't I give you a twenty just
the other day?  You know I liked it better when you listened to that punk
music and didn't have to go to a movie every weekend."  And so it was
about this time the Nirvana boy, now in his polos and ralph laurens, looks in
his closet for things to sell on ebay and finds the nirvana shirts. He gets $3
for each of them. Then he went out to
eat.