Review: Hancock

And I’m walking down the street whistling to myself saying, “Hancock…Hancock,
Hancock.” All the bums look at me. Why are they always down by the park looking
at me begging for train fare? Hancock
sits outside the McDonalds. He sings “Rock
‘n Roll McDonalds.” Someone comes out of
the college radio station and says, “Mr. Willis, do you mind if we interview
you for our radio show.” He doesn’t say
anything. He’s tired of coming up with
Will Smith lines for Will Smith. He doesn’t
want to have to start pretending he’s the second coming of Wesley Willis. He lets him die. Your friend should have been there.

Hancock is tired of sitting out front of the McDonalds. He goes in and asks for an application. He forgets he doesn’t know how to read and
write. They say, “Can you flip a burger?” He isn’t sure. They put him on the fry basket. He wears his sunglasses. Some of the customers complain. He reaches into their stomach and takes back
the fries. They fire him on the second
day.

He decides to give the army a try. They stick him in a Jungle. They say, “End the war. Use your special powers.” He is tired of using them. He’d rather hump his way through to
freedom. He gets thrown out of the army
for insubordination.

He calls up his brother Phil. Phil doesn’t answer. Phil is busy. Phil is mortal and envious of Hancock because he just seems to waste
everything he’s given. He’s also jealous
because Hancock is Will Smith and he’s Charlie Murphy.

Hancock returns to McDonalds and throws the kid working the
fry basket through the glass front window. He is kind of sorry. McDonalds
doesn’t give him his job back. He still
shows up each day and wears his own uniform made out of old McDonald
wrappers. Things are looking up.