Review: Eat When You Feel Sad by Zachary German

We’re either really lazy or we really think people care about our stupid little gimmick of reviewing things we haven’t read and therefore don’t want to upset our mass of fans by actually reviewing something that we read. With that said, I make no excuses of how shitty this review is, especially considering the book is online and can be read quickly and for free by anyone. Anyway, on with the review, but before I begin let me just say it is my intention to make this the worse review I’ve ever written.

Zachary German wrote Eat When You Feel Sad on a Tuesday. I believe he was forty-five and had a bald spot. He had children and they had children. Maybe forty-five is too young? Let’s make him ninety-five. His children’s children had children. He had a bunch of bald spots and they all added up to him being one hairless pork chop.

At the moment Zachary German is only 18 or 19. The Zach German who wrote Eat When You Feel Sad was a future version. Who knows how this story from the future has shown up now? I guess the internet is evolving.

I am hungry. There is nothing in the fridge that is mine. The two cups of jello are my roommates. I ate one of them. I’ll tell him it fell over on the ground. When I finished the cup I knocked the other one on the ground and ate that too. It seems that I eat when I’m guilty, but I know I also like to eat when I’m tired and when I’m yawning. Basically, I think I eat whenever I’m ugly.