IRONMAN Training Day 2: Eggball

I did not get to train before work today.  I was asked to do bus duty which means I finally got to ride the bus to school.  To make up for slacking off this morning, I worked out this evening instead.  Carbo-loading is a very important part of the IRONMAN so I ate a big pasta dinner and topped it off with some Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.  Last year we decided to start eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, which replaced our five year tradition of eating Chipotle during the mid day break.  There is very little time for digesting during the IRONMAN, so I took very little time to digest before working out tonight.

My focus tonight was on Eggball.  Eggball takes place in the center circle of a soccer field.  Each competitor is given an egg, and no one may leave the circle under any circumstances.  The object is to crack your opponents' egg while leaving yours intact.  No punching is allowed, but besides that the only other rule is don't be a jerk.  Last year Owen Flygare won the first ever Eggball event and was thusly dubbed the "Eggman" until someone can defeat him.  Also, Fancy Boy did not get a single point in Eggball last year, so I'm hoping to make up some ground on him in this event in '09 (I also went scoreless in Eggball last year.) 

Eggball is a difficult sport to train for by oneself.  After the sun had set and the full moon was up, I took an egg out of my refrigerator and promised myself not to let it go until I had been outside for the entire 52 minute, 23 second IRONMAN TRAINING playlist that I created for my workout.  Oh yeah, I received some negative feedback on my choice of music for my first workout.  I thought about it and decided to cut the Atmosphere song, but the Ryan Adams song stays.  I also added "See You Again," by Miley Cyrus and "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5, along with several others, bulking my playlist up to 15 songs.  I noticed a theme throughout my workout that a lot of the songs I picked are about being separated from something or someone you care about.  Whew... I may as well get this out now.

I am smitten.  I spent some time with someone that felt special, more special than any other time I've spent with someone else in recent memory.  I didn't have as much time with her as I wanted, but in the days that followed our separation, I found myself reliving the adventures and time we shared together.  But she's gone now, and she's with someone else, which is fine.  It is.  It has to be.  I knew what we had couldn't last forever; how could it?  I've talked my friends' ears off about her already and I know I should stop but I can't.  She's beautiful, she brightens any room that she's in, and in my arms she just fits.  But not as well as she fit on my mantel.  That trophy, the IRONMAN Trophy lies with Fancy Boy now, and I have to accept it.  

"Ooh, baby give me one more chance..."

I will prove my worth to her in the IRONMAN.  What else can I do?

Train to win Eggball is a start.  With the egg clenched delicately between my right thumb, middle and ring fingers, I trotted down the sidewalk beneath the orange glow of the streetlamps until I got to the basketball court.  I walked to the baseline, and did what I swore I would never do again: ran killers.  Killers are where you start at the baseline of a basketball court, sprint to the free throw line and back, then to the three point line and back, followed by the mid-court line, then the three and free throw lines on the other half of the court, concluding with a sprint to the other baseline and back.  To make the training more egg oriented, I made myself touch the fore-finger of the hand holding the egg to each line as I reached it.  With the egg intact and the ice cream fighting its way back up my throat I jogged a half lap until I got to my old sledding hill.

I set down my camera, clipped my iPod onto my pants, and rolled down the hill.  I held the egg outstretched from my body in a straight line from my head and about five inches above the ground.  I had a hard time keeping the egg from touching the ground the faster I rolled, but the bottom of the hill arrived just in time.  I jumped to my feet and with the trees spinning in front of me, sprinted back up the hill to collect my camera. 

I then walked down the block towards my next destination when I saw three neighbors sitting on their front steps, enjoying the cool of the evening.  They had a little Collie that looked just like Lassie, except this dog's name is Buddy.  Buddy stuck his tail out like a rod from its back and did not take his eyes off of me as he ran down the stairs to examine me.  "Say hello to the man, Buddy," Buddy's presumed owner called at him.  I held out my hand for Buddy to smell.  Buddy must not likes raw eggs because he started chomping at my pants leg.  "Sir, your dog is nipping at me!" I called to the man.  "Buddy, get over here.  Bad dog, Buddy, bad dog," Buddy's owner said with a slight uptick in his voice at the end, like the intonation a parent makes when he or she knows their scold is falling upon deaf ears.  Fortunately Buddy retreated and allowed me to continue my egg workout. 

I walked for awhile longer, saw a dog much larger than Buddy sizing me up from across the street, walked away from the dog, and eventually ended up at a small field.  I started rolling my egg across the ground with the goal of picking it up before it stopped moving.  I repeated this exercise until I was pleasantly winded, collected my egg and continued on my way. 

My playlist almost over, I walked to a well lit area and smashed my egg on a sewer grate as a warning to Owen that his days as the Eggman are numbered.  I tried to scrawl a "VII" into the yolk, but yolk is very difficult to mold into symbols, so I took a picture of the mess and pushed as much of it into the sewer as I could.  Is it illegal to put a smashed egg into a sewer?  I hope not.  I'm going to have a very hard time training for the IRONMAN if I'm in prison.