Day Three: Jump Rope

by Zack Eustis

Day Three

I decided not to pack a lunch today. I made burritos last night that I was planning on eating today, but the odds of my wrap job staying closed while leaping over the rope seemed too low to risk it. What I did not expect was the jump rope that I borrowed from school to actually be made for school-aged children, which gave me an additional challenge this morning. I started off on my sidewalk with my back hunched and knees bent which allowed the rope to clear the top of my hood. Things were going so well I decided I could make it the whole way without stopping. The awkward position of my jumping, however, left my thighs burning after the first half block so I tried straightening up only to have the rope crash into my neck. Undeterred, I started up again as I crossed the street. The student walk patrollers were back this morning (the temperature was minus 7 but there was no wind chill so they had to stay out) and watched my leaps while looking perplexed with a hint of a smirk. I said "good morning" and bounded past the drop off area. By this point I was so tired that I had to stand upright again, which was the second time the rope hit me. Once I made it down a small hill I was home free to the wide open pavement that led to the front entrance of the school. I decided to sprint-jump rope the rest of the way there to get it over with as fast as possible. I walked in the front entrance gasping for air and was greeted by our principal who was concerned that my bright red cheeks had been stung too hard by the cold morning air. I did not provide an alternative explanation.
I have yet to tell anyone at school about my challenge. Eventually I will need to ask someone to pick me up on car pool day, but that probably won't be until next week.

I've received some excellent suggestions, most notably commuting with a stereo on my shoulder (perhaps rocking out to Pink Floyd or MC Hammer. thank you Maggie and Ned), holding my breath the entire way, and walking with my eyes closed (thank you Aaron.) Keep the ideas coming; so far they have been brilliant.

There actually wasn't a stand out "That's What She Said" from today, but in place of TWSS, I'll leave you with this: One of my students, in all earnestness, believed my name was Mr. Useless until last Friday when she said it in front of her entire class (I've lost them forever.) Her teacher practiced it with her and today she introduced me to her buddy from another school as Mrs. Eustis.