Brown MFA: Day Nine

Brian Evenson invited everyone in the MFA program to his house.  He is the head of the Literary Arts Department.  He’s written some books.  When I was walking to his house I thought it would be funny if when I met him I said, “Are you Percival Everett?”  Percival Everett is a black man.  I’m pretty sure Brian Evenson isn’t a black man.  I could be wrong. 

A week ago I bought one of Brian Evenson’s books.  The day I bought it I was walking back from the book store and fell in a manhole.  It was a small manhole.  Only half my leg fell in the small manhole.  When I got to Brian Evenson’s house I didn’t tell him I fell in a manhole the day I bought his book.  I didn’t want to ruin the party. 

Brian Evenson seems to have happy eyes.  I think he was putting hummus on his plate when I arrived.  I interrupted him.  I didn’t realize I was interrupting him until after I interrupted him.  I said, “Thanks for inviting me.  I was going to make a cake, but I didn’t.  I probably should have.  I thought I was going to write a novel this morning so I didn’t make a cake, but then I didn’t end up writing anything.  Instead I made thirty posts on twitter about things I was going to do once I got to your house.  Someone retweeted one of my posts where I said, ‘I’m going to Brian Evenson’s house, probably going to run upstairs and ruin some of his business suits.’  So anyway, thanks for inviting me.  Sorry about the cake.”  Brian Evenson told me not to worry about it and finished putting hummus on his plate.

Brian Evenson’s house is pretty nice.  I wonder who has a nicer house, him or Percival Everett.

I put some chicken and hummus on a plate.  Someone else was putting stuffed mushrooms on their plate.  I asked them, “Are you the novelist who can recite their third novel from memory?”  They shook their head.

The woman pouring wine and handing out drinks asked what kind of sparkling water I wanted.  I asked her, “Is it true that Brian Evenson wears a suit whenever he writes a novel and when he’s finished he throws the suit out?”  She said she didn’t know who Brian Evenson was.  I asked her if her sister was on the bus earlier reading Twilight.  She said she didn’t have a sister.

 I was talking to someone and then I ran out of things to say.  I said, “Excuse me,” and went and got more food.